You aren’t born under the sign you think you’re born under. Sure, if you were born a few thousand years ago, you’d still be a Cancer, a Scorpio, or a Leo… but not anymore. See, the universe ain’t perfect. It doesn’t move in perfect rotations. Everything “wobbles” and this knocks orbits around just enough that the sun and moon don’t “move through” the signs they used to.

(And let’s not even begin talking about the Gregorian Calendar Shift.)

From The Griffith’s Observatory:

When the earth’s wobbling was discovered by the Greek astronomer Hipparchus in the second century B. C., astrologers had a problem. The sun was supposed to be in Aries as spring began, but it was really in front of the stars of Pisces. The astrologers took this bombshell in stride and declared that the signs drifted with the sun and that the sun was still in the sign of Aries, even though it was in front of the stars of Pisces. Hipparchus, by the way, is the northeastfacing astronomer on the Astronomers Monument on the Observatory’s lawn.

So the constellations have stayed in the same direction, but the signs have drifted to the west (relative to the fixed stars), and they no longer coincide. If you were born during the first two weeks of May 2600 years ago, you were born when the sun was in both the sign and constellation of Taurus. Now during those weeks the sun is in Aries. Astrologically speaking, you are still a Taurus; astronomically speaking you are an Aries. Likewise, most Libras are really Virgos, and so on. (And to add insult to injury, most Sagittarians are really Ophiuchi.) Of the 366 possible birthdates, the sign astrologers use corresponds to the astronomical constellation 14 percent of the time. The astrological sign is off by one constellation for 84 percent and by two constellations for the other 2 percent.

Here’s a much more accurate “horoscope” for those who are interested.

Constellation Dates

Capricornus January 19 to February 15
Aquarius February 16 to March 11
Pisces March 12 to April 18
Aries April 19 to May 13
Taurus May 14 to June 19
Gemini June 20 to July 20
Cancer July 21 to August 9
Leo August 10 to September 15
Virgo September 16 to October 30
Libra October 31 to November 22
Scorpius November 23 to November 29
Ophiuchus November 30 to December 17
Sagittarius December 18 to January 18

Wait a second… WAIT A SECOND!!!

Who the Hell is Ophiuchus?!?!?!

He’s the Thirteenth Sign. (Masons around the world rejoice!) He’s also associated with snakes (huzzah!) and a healer.

Finally, here’s a list of ALL the “constellations” the sun and moon pass through. The next time someone asks you “What’s your sign?” be sure to give them the most accurate reply you can:

1. Aquarius
2. Aries
3. Cancer
4. Capricornus
5. Cetus
6. Corvus
7. Crater
8. Gemini
9. Hydra
10. Leo
11. Libra
12. Ophiuchus
13. Orion
14. Pegasus
15. Pisces
16. Sagittarius
17. Scorpius
18. Scutum
19. Sextans
20. Taurus
21. Virgo

I’m sure will have something to say about this soon.

PS: the constellation of Capricornus, the Goat, is shaped like an arrowhead, or a chevron. The French word for ‘goat’ is ‘chevre’. The Latin word for ‘goat’ is ‘Capricornus’, where ‘capra’ means ‘goat’ and ‘cornus’ means ‘horn’. The constellation is in the form of a ‘V’, not a goat. So, if you are a Capricorn, you are the sign of the chevron, or “goat’s horn.” Cheer up! Could be worse! 😉