Hi. Remember me? I’m the guy you said was your friend. The guy you said was important to you. The guy you said was a positive influence in your life.
Well, since you said those words, things have happened. Or, should I say, nothing has happened. You’ve all but disappeared from my life. You never initiate contact. When I contact you, the reply is always brief and abrupt. Your reply is always tinged with the message, “I don’t have time for you.” Then, you go on to tell me that you are my friend, that I’m important, and that I’m one of the only good influences in your life.
I’ve kept contact with you, trying to make sure we don’t lose each other over the distance between us. I send you a regular “Howdy!” every once in a while, just to see if you’ll reply. You do — sometimes. But, when I say, “Hey, let’s get together,” you always blow me off… even when I go extra lengths to accomodate your schedule.
You have a good policy on people: you never burn a bridge. No matter how bad things get, you always smile and make sure that person knows that they’re special and precious to you, and losing you as a friend would be a dear cost.
Well, here’s the problem. What you say and what you do are two entirely different things.
I know you read my journal, so here’s the message, and I hope it’s coming in clear.
If what you say is true, if you really are my friend, if I really am all that special to you, and if we truly do have a bond that cannot be broken by time or distance… you’ll contact me. You know how to do it.
See, just a few weeks ago, something happened in my life that’s given it a new focus. My father is dying, and there’s nothing anybody can do about it. All we can really do is put off the innevitable, spend time with him, and remind him every day that we love him. That’s all I can do. And I realized it’s not all that much, really. Not all that much to spend lunch with him, to write him a letter every once in a while, to call him up and say, “Hey, I saw this thing that made me think of you.” That’s all it takes.
If you really want me in your life, you’ll do what my other friends do: you’ll prove it.
If you’re just putting me on, making sure you don’t burn a bridge just in case you need to use it… well, the problem with a bridge is, you don’t need to burn it to knock it down.
All you have to do is neglect it.