Author: john wick

I spent the whole weekend rattled, and I didn’t know why. I thought it was food poisoning. I was wrong.

Now I know why I couldn’t think all weekend, why I wasn’t “on game” on Friday, why I got physically ill on Saturday, and why I couldn’t make myself do anything on Sunday.

Ever since I met her in Psychology 101, there’s been something weird about us. I was the first to pick it up, she picked it up later. We had a long time trying to figure out what it was — a few missteps, mostly on my part — until finally, we knew. We just knew.

I met my sister. She met her brother.

And this weekend, something happened. She’s okay, but there was a scare.

Now, everytime my cynical atheism gets hold of me, something like this happens. All the way from Seattle, a kharmic hammer hits me in the head and says, “Something’s wrong — something happened.” Sometimes I’m centered enough to know, sometimes I’m so fixated on my own life, I don’t recognize it.

This was one of the latter moments.

I’m relieved now. And a little less cynical.

Jitterbug Boy/Better Off Without a Wife

DEATH
“the releaser, eliminator,
expander”
You are commited to change, metamorphasis, and
transformation, cutting through limitations,
obstacles, anxd restrictions. You have a
desire to let go of anyone or thing
constrictive. Like the caterpillar to the
butterfly (you are the cocoon), you shed old
beliefs and atttudes to release something new.

***which major arcana of the thoth tarot deck are you? short; with pictures and detailed results***
brought to you by Quizilla

… but I hope to move on. Sometime soon. Anytime soon. Right now would be nice.

A bunch of friends want me to go out to the Ren Faire with them this weekend. Last weekend, lots of fun, right?

Uh… we’ll see.

I sewed a lot of wild oats out at the Faire. Back when I was young and stupid and irresponsible. Made a lot of people very sad. So, while everybody else is having fun, I’ll be making sure I don’t bump into someone and have an uncomfortable moment.

They assure me everything will be okay.
They didn’t work Faire with me.

Maybe a disguise is in order…

Ask the Magic Cactus a question I asked the magic cactus, When will I fall in love again? and THE MAGIC CACTUS SAID TO ME: I think that this situation is a complex one. There are obviously more factors at work here than it would first seem. Turn over all those rocks that are in your path to see what lies beneath. Thats where you’ll find what you are looking for…. reality subversion @ www.irreality.org.uk

So, I met a friend at the office and I’m suddenly reminded of Jared and ‘becca out East, who used to live down the street from me in San Francisco. We’d go walking through the streets, and they’d see little goth kids. “Gloom Puppies.” And ‘becca would say, “Oh! Look, honey! I want one!” She’d ask, “Can we bring ’em home? Can we?”

reminds me of and and reminds me how much I miss them.

I’ve often said I don’t like the mentality in the Cam. One aspect of that is the paranoid sense of persecution.

About ten people e-mailed or phoned me yesterday, asking me if I was talking about them specifically. I got endless amounts of, “Why don’t we sit down and talk about this?” and “I’m sick of people bitching about the Cam. Either shut up and play, or quit.”

To the first point: Why would I want to sit down and talk to people who I know lie, cheat blatantly, smile and shake my hand, then talk about me when my back’s turned? Why would I want to negotiate with these people, let alone allow them in my life?

To the second point: America, love it or leave it.

I have a plan.

I’m gonna invite a few friends to participate in my L5R game. When I do, they’ll arrive, see all the other players are are Rank 3-4 samurai and shugenja, are trusted Imperial Magistrates, are some of the most powerful people in the Empire — they know it, others know it. They have supernatural skills. The Crane has an Etiquette of 6, which means he can talk his way out of the most embarrasing, most damaging… he talked the party out of getting killed the the Empire’s premiere assassin. Yes, that’s Bayushi Aramoro. When the Wasp missed, the whole Empire heard it. Every party memeber lost a Void Point. Because the Wasp missed. It was a metaphysical event. The Lion is a general with only one peer. He turns Toturi’s head. The shugenja — a ronin with one arm — has made the entire shugenja caste stand up and take notice. The Scorpion holds… well, I can’t say that. Let’s just say he got a gift from The Woman.

They are players. Playahs. Powerful, determined men. They move, and the Empire shakes.

I’m gonna get a couple people I know from the Camarilla, and invite them to play in my L5R game.

As hinin. Peasants. Servants. And they get to tag around and run errands.

And they’d better be FUCKING GRATEFUL. Or I’ll kill their characters, little ungrateful prigs. They have to earn their opportunity to have fun. And I’ll determine when they have fun. When they’re allowed to have a say in the plot. After all, we were here first.

And, when the game’s all over, and they got to sit on their thumbs and watch the other players have fun, while they sat aside and knew their fucking place in the world, I’ll say, “Hey, wasn’t that a great game? I had fun!”

Yeah. It’s fun to be a lacky.
And the next person who tells me there isn’t a caste system in the Cam can suck my cock.

… and thought I’d share.

THE LIFE OF AN AFFAIR
A Romance is born, it lives its life, and it dies. At least, most romances die. Some live on, even beyond the lives of the lovers. All romances go through stages, and we measure these stages as “seasons.”

The Spring Romance
When it is born, a Romance is said to be in its Spring, when it is still full of vigor and reckless abandon. Some Romances end here, burning themselves out quickly. Passions run hot and tempers flare, and some Romances burn too brightly to survive longer than a brief affair. Conversations are little more than quick and clever flirtations, and the lovers are lost in the passion of the moment. Spring Romances are driven by infatuation, and the realities of the real world are either ignored or come crashing down with the force of a thunderstorm. If the affair does survive, it moves into the Summer season.

The Summer Romance
If a Spring Romance survives, it becomes a Summer Romance. The long, warm, lazy days of Summer are free of worry and temper. The Spring Romance has survived to become a Romance of reflection, revelation and soul searching. As the initial heat fades away into a long, warm blur, the lovers have more time to discover who they really are, and who they are together. This is when lovers determine if the short-term fling will turn into a long-term commitment. If it succeeds, it becomes an Autumn Romance.

The Autumn Romance
In the colder regions of the world, it is said there are really only two seasons: Winter, and Winter-is-Coming. Autumn is a season of preparation for the inevitable long months of winter. In the terms of a Romance, this is when all the illusions are dispelled, when the realities of the affair come to terms. Can my lover protect me? Can my lover support me? Is he strong enough to maintain me through the long months? This is when a Romance is truly tested, and if it survives, it moves on to the Winter season.

The Winter Season
In the coldest months of the year, a Romance suffers its darkest time. The joy and vigor of Spring are memories, the long conversations and discoveries of Summer have run their course, the preparations of Autumn begin to run low. All the lovers have to hold on to is each other, and if that is found wanting, the Romance will end. Winter is the season of death, and few Romances survive this bitter time. Only those who know that Spring is just a few months away, and realize that Romance can bloom once again, can last the year’s bleakest months.

I’ve been so busy at work, writing flavor text for the CCG, running a D&D game in the office, doing a little unpacking (more like stacking), doing some writing… my life’s really pretty dull right now.

Sorry, my little voyeurs, but there’s really nothing to talk about. At least, nothing that isn’t covered by a non-disclosure agreement.

Oh! I’ve got a project in the works that’s a lot of fun. I’ve got to do some fleshing out, but it’s almost done. And, it looks like it may see print by the end of the year. Maybe Gen-Con West. We’ll see.

Now, if I can just get my computer all happy again, I can get back to work on that.