Author: john wick

Your Ultimate Roleplaying Purity Score
Category	Your Score	Average
Hacklust	43.4% Will kill for XP	52.1%
Sensitive Roleplaying	7.59% There is no player. There is only…. Zuul.	49.3%
GM Experience	8.7% Worldbuilder, storyteller… Master.	66.2%
Systems Knowledge	31.5% Owns the libraries of Alexandria and Carcosa	88.5%
Livin’ La Vida Dorka	9.2% Gaming is my life	58.7%
You are 20.2% pure Average Score: 65.7%
Take The Ultimate Roleplaying Purity Test and see how you match up!

I’ve always said the timing in my life is weird. I’ve missed things I should have caught, caught things I should have missed. Some of my best friends could have been lovers, if not for bad timing. And, sometimes, that “bad timing” was actually a very good thing.

It hasn’t actually happened yet. But, it will. Very soon now.

It’s all about timing. And time has almost run out.

“… God gave us sin that we might learn forgiveness.”

“… because no Biblical Hell could be worse than a state of perpetual inconsequence.”

“… save your prayers, Veronica. The devil has my heart now, and God doesn’t have a chance.”

I love this film.

Because my neighbor is playing hip hop at the top volume — with his window open so he can share the Holy Music with everyone — and I’ve been forced to listen to this shit for an hour now, I’ve been inspired. Here’s how to write a hip hop song:

1. Steal someone else’s melody.
2. Stanza One: Write about how big your dick is.
3. Chorus: Thank God for everything you have.
4. Stanza Two: Write about how many guns you have.
5. Stanza Three: Write about how big your ho’s ass is.
6. Repeat Chorus: Thanking God for everything you have.
7. Stanza Four: Write about how many people you’ve killed.
8. Repeat Chorus: Thanking God for everything you have.

I just heard Too Pack (yes, I spelled his name wrong — it’s a dumb name) talking about his bitches and hos going down on his twelve inch.

No wonder the hip hop community reveres him. He’s a poet.

I’m moving my apartment. All I own is a futon, a desk, a computer, a chair, and three bookshelves full of books. Won’t take too long.

From Torrance to Santa Monica. Take me about a week.

Last thing I move is the bed. Just in case.

(The following conversation is real. It took place just outside the mall across the street from my work.)

EXT. DAY – FOOD COURT ENTRANCE
(JOHN walks by a blue NEWS VAN. Standing beside a TABLE of COKE and PEPSI, he sees a tall BLONDE with long legs and a short skirt holding a microphone. A CAMERA MAN clues in on John as the Blonde approaches.)

BLONDE: Excuse me, sir.

JOHN: (dismissive) I’m not interested.

BLONDE: We’re doing research…

JOHN: (stopping) Research?

BLONDE: Yes, we want to find out if you…

JOHN: (interrupting) Wait a second. You mean to tell me that soda is the news?

BLONDE: (a little tentative) We…

JOHN: Did you hear the Vice President signed oil contracts while he was still CEO of that company of his — and sent Bush a letter in 1997 dictating a strategy of removing Hussein from power to maintain those contracts indefinately?

BLONDE: (looking back at the camera man) Uh… well…

JOHN: And you’re doing research. (leaving) See you at 6:00.

… make sure the mark thinks you didn’t get away with it.

Confidence is high on my list of favorite grifter movies. Very high.

, you and I have to see this one.

An action film that raises questions about reality, perception, freewill, and the power of religion and faith.

And naked Carrie Ann Moss.

I think I’m going back tonight. For the naked Carrie Ann Moss.
I already dealt with that other stuff in college.

(Yes, I liked it. A lot.)

During an NBA play-off game involving Miami, Jimmy Buffett stood up, walked to the edge of the court (he had front row seats) and yelled at a referee for making an (obviously) dumb call against his home team. He was (peacefully) removed by security while the crowd gave Buffett a standing ovation.

The next night, pro wrestler and Master Heel Rick Flair announced to a Miami crowd, “And I have to say, way to go Jimmy Buffett! I don’t like referees, either!”

Damn, if my life didn’t collide with itself. Woo!

I come into work this morning, and there’s an envelope on my desk.
Hm…

I open the envelope. And what’s inside…?

A ticket.
A movie ticket.
For tonight.

(singing)

I’m gonna see a moovie!
I’m gonna see a moovie!
I’m gonna see a moovie!