Rhythm of the World

I’m listening to http://www.radiomargaritaville.com. All you who spend your days listening to all that angry, pissed off at the world, angsty stuff… take a break, check in, head down to the beach, and relax. If not for yourself, do it for those who love you. You’d be surprised how different the world looks from the beach, listening to the Rhythm of the World.

I went down there last night, trying to get some perspective. Whenever I lose it, I head down to the sand and the waves. I sit on the shore and just listen. There it is: the Rhythm of the World. I can feel my pulse slow down, can feel the tension and anger flood out of my body…

Priorities. The world has been here for a long, long time. It’s seen my own problems a hundred thousand million billion times. I’m nothing new. Nothing unique. That isn’t a bad thing: it means there have been others who have faced my troubles and survived. They’ve made it. I can, too.

I come back to the apartment, look it over. So small. So dark. I open up the window, let the night air come in. Listen to the sounds of mankind. I smile. I can still hear the waves. They’re in my heart, and only my own inner noise can drown them out.

The window’s open, the night wind cool, no music on the radio, no TV. I look at the computer. The keyboard. No.

I pick up a pen and a notebook, and I write.

The Gray Faerie

I’ve seen the pictures. Wow. The artists are really making my stories look good.

Soon. Probably today. I’ll send an update when she goes live.

“Ohay esyay abybay!”

So, my new monitor buddy tells me people have… ahem… share intimate moments on the site. In order to dodge the monitors, they use a special technique.

They do it in Pig Latin.

No, I am not joking.

Rainy Monday

I’ve got six stories in the que. The Gray Faerie is my favorite so far. Stinky McCoy didn’t come out the way I wanted it, so a re-write is due. Aethia and the Battle Faerie is my third Faerie story. Darrel told me, “Donna doesn’t let anybody write Faerie stories.” He hit my shoulder. “Lucky dog.”

I love my job.

Missed out on a lot of gaming this weekend. Friday and Saturday both had Cam/Anarch games. A NERO game on Sunday I ditched because I can’t quite jump the “4 Magic! 4 Magic! 4 Magic!” hurdle. Sunday was a SAS game, but I just couldn’t get the energy to go. So, I wrote instead. ’bout time.

Saturday’s game was… hurm. I don’t know. I love and admire my friends, I really do. But, I am entrenched in the superstitious belief that D&D has some kind of mutant aura that makes gamers dumb. I’ve seen the best and brightest of my generation do the dumbest things because of that game. They aren’t dumb, the game makes them dumb. In any other game, they are sensible, mature, adult roleplayers. As soon as they pick up that d20, they turn into sub-morons.

Thus, I’ve come to a conclusion: D&D must be destroyed.

When I figure out how to do that, I’ll let you know.

I’m bored.
All my money’s tied up.
All my friends are miles away.
I’ve got one station on my TV.
Jennifer Garner is cute.

A Do Nothing Day

It’s 2:30 in the afternoon and I haven’t done anything all day. Nothing significant, anyway. I cleaned up, paid the bills (a paycheck is a wonderful thing), went through some legal payperwork, had the All that could have been DVD running in the background on my computer. I like Trent’s instrumentals more every time I hear them. In fact, I think I like the instrumentals more than the… hm… what do you call them other than “songs?” Anyway, you get the picture.

Although, it’s fun as hell to sing along with Starfuckers, Inc.

I’ve got an outline to do, and I still haven’t done it. I’m procrastinating. I don’t know why. If I just sit down and do it, it’ll be done. I remember someone telling me that there are people who are afraid to succeed. They get so close, then they intentionally fuck it up. I feel like that sometimes.

Tonight, there will be gaming. I’m not looking forward to it. I’m not excited about it. I’m still waiting for a ton of things to happen, and I feel like I’m in Limbo until it does. Uninspired to do anything until all this other shit is resolved.

“Starfuckers!”

3rd Update Today

Yeah. I know. I’m like Steve King. New one every time you look.

But, after discussing a situation I’m in with a friend, I was inspired to share this with you, Faithful Reader! It seemed appropriate.

Frank’s Song

That woman will take you, that woman will break you
That woman will make you something you’ve never seen
That woman’s got claws, that woman’s got laws
Now look out man, you’re gonna loose your mind

I had a friend, his name was Frank
He walked on the water and lord he sank
We used to go stag, now he’s got a hag
It looks like Frank’s got a new bag

That woman will take you, that woman will break you
That woman will make you something you’ve never seen
That woman’s got claws, that woman’s got laws
Now look out Frank, you’re gonna loose your mind

What happened to Frank, can happen to you
Just find you a woman and watch what she’ll do
That woman will take you, that woman’s gonna break you
Look out man you’re gonna loose, you’re gonna loose your mind

(Mr. Waits, of course)

Death and Dying

Due to recent circumstances with my character in the Cam, I’ve been putting a lot of thought toward character death.

It’s funny, but I’ve seen four characters die, and the response is always the same: there isn’t one.

Nobody mourns. Nobody allows their characters to be affected at all.

Okay, I know the old chestnut: “Arguments that include the words ‘any,’ ‘all,’ or ‘none’ are specious.” But, in general, it’s true. People pretty much ignore death in the Cam. The attitude is to get over it. Quickly. No bad feelings, and all. “Nothing personal” is what I got told about a hundred times on my way out of the Lake Elsinore game.

Heh. Nothing personal, but my character just comitted murder. Nothing personal.

Wrong. Very, very wrong.

“Besides,” someone might say. “You can always make another character.”

That’s not the point. Characters have friends, lovers, family. Even if someone at work died, someone I barely knew, I’d feel it. If they were murdered? Yeah. That’d revreberate. I know vampire hearts are as still as small ponds, but even if you throw the tiniest of pebbles in there, you’re gonna make waves.

How people choose to play their characters is up to them. Walker knew and admired someone who got killed recently, and when he went to Lake Elsinore, it showed. He didn’t like going there, didn’t feel safe there, didn’t trust anyone. Turns out his intuition was right, but when you’re under orders… well, let’s just say that Rule #1 in Clan Tremere is: “Sometimes, you’ve just got to do what you’re told.”

Anyway, death is important, not trivial. Walker doesn’t get to make a new character. He leaves behind a lot of friends, a lot of enemies, a lot of past. Life goes on… but I try to look at everything that happens in context of my character’s reaction to it.

Eh. I’m rambling now. Time to write a Neo-cowboy story about magic lassos, Petpet rustlers, and a Gelert with a badge…

Something to tell your grandkids…

This is history. Every moment is history. But this… this is something we should all remember.

Keep this in mind: I did not vote for George Bush. I don’t agree with any of his policies, I resent the fact he has prayer meetings in the Oval Office, and I think he completely screwed up the PR for the war. However…

That doesn’t change the fact that we just saw the most powerful military force the world attack their enemy with the direct intention of causing the fewest casualties possible.

They defeated the enemy before they even hit the field. Demoralized, defeated, retreating before they even fired a shot. Textbook Sun Tzu.

We deposed a regime without attacking the civilian populace. We sacrificed lives to preserve the lives of “hostile civilians.” We jeopardized the safety of our own troops to do so.

Now, one can argue that there is nothing ethical in war. That’s tough to get around. But when faced with an enemy force of significantly inferior force, the U.S. Military chose not to run them down and kill them all to the man. No. They provided the Iraqi army ample opportunity to avoid bloodshed on both sides. They didn’t have to do that. It could have been a bloodbath. It wasn’t.

This may be the most humane war ever fought. I know that’s an oxymoron. I know that. And I honestly don’t know how I feel about the whole thing. But, that’s one fact you cannot ignore, dispute, or toss away. They went in with the intention of sparing lives.

That’s something to tell your grandkids.