Dear President Bush

(for amanofhats on his daughter’s birthday; lordstrange will have something for her soon.)

 Sir,

You finally did it. You finally put a stake through America’s heart.

You bullied the Congress into signing a law that made torture legal in the eyes of American courts. Unhappy with those “activist judges,” you brought into existence a law that allows you to interpret law. In other words, you made the entire Judicial Branch of our government obsolete.

I’m not sure if you remember this through the cocaine haze of your college days, Mr. President, but way back when, in those good old days, when the Founding Fathers first laid out the plans for this nation, they decided to divide the powers of government so no one branch would become too strong.

Of course, this means little to you. You’re on a Mission from God. God Himself talked to you and told you to do this, I’m sure.

Question is, which God was it?

Are you sure it was the God of the Bible, as represented by Jesus Christ, his avatar here on Earth? Let’s see what Jesus says about how we should treat our enemies, shall we? After all, Jesus was a man of peace. Not like those heathan Muslims who worship their false War God. No, Jesus spoke only of peace and love and forgiveness. Didn’t he?

Didn’t he?

I mean, didn’t Jesus come to cast out the old law and bring in the new? Let’s see… Matthew, Chapter 5…

Matthew 5:17
Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.


Ah. So, no. He actually likes the old laws. Hm. Well, at least Jesus is forgiving, right?

Matthew 10:14
And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet. Verily I say unto you, It shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrha in the day of judgment, than for that city.


Well, come on. Doesn’t Jesus have something to say about peace? I mean, isn’t Islam the religion of the sword?

Matthew 10:34
Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


Okay, well, maybe this Jesus guy isn’t so forgiving after all… I mean, didn’t he come to get rid of all those old laws? Like God’s command to kill disobedient children in Exodus? Jesus wouldn’t support a commandment like that, would he?

Matthew 15:4
For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.


Well, I mean come on, Jesus! Isn’t this a little contradictory? Didn’t you say “forgive everyone” up on the Mount? Why are you contradicting yourself? It’s almost as if you’re vague on purpose, just to confuse people.

Mark 4:11
And he said unto them, Unto you it is given to know the mystery of the kingdom of God: but unto them that are without, all these things are done in parables: That seeing they may see, and not perceive; and hearing they may hear, and not understand; lest at any time they should be converted, and their sins should be forgiven them.


So you are being cryptic on purpose!

Oh, now I see.

Well, maybe it all makes sense now! George W. Bush is following Jesus’ example:

He’s judgmental,
He’s unforgiving,
And he’s contradicting himself and making vague claims!

It all makes sense!
All Hail Discordia!