I’ve quit drinking Coke, except on game night (Saturday nights), when I drink 4 cans in less than 4 hours. Damn game night. Should have followed Trekhead’s example, and brought bottles of water. Next week, I will.
I’m getting rid of my gamer gut — slowly, but surely. I used to call it my husband gut. I don’t have that excuse anymore, but honestly, that’s where I got it. From being content. “Kill me if I ever get content,” is what I used to say. Now, I’m doing it. I’m killing that guy, finding out who the new guy is.
* * *
If you’ve been keeping up with things, you know the Saturday night group asked me to run L5R. Thought it was a bad idea, but I ran a one-shot for ’em, just to shut ’em up. Something weird happened.
They loved it. _I_ loved it. Wow. Now, it’s gonna be the regular game (with the very excellent WoT game Lawyer Boy runs).
Last night, I was sittng in Denny’s with Trekhead and Doc, talking about the game, the industry, AEG, WotC, lots of things. The story I just finished had the characters getting invited to a wedding: Kachiko and Shoju’s wedding. It was a lovely affair, followed up with the boys having to cut off all kinds of situations before they turn into problems. It was a blast.
The conversation twists and turns, and I’m thinking a lot about the past, about the people I knew when I was working at AEG, about the people I was working with after I left AEG, about my whole game designer past. We all say goodnight, and I start the long drive home. “Long drive home,” I think. And the word “distance” comes up in my head. It won’t leave me alone. “Distance,” it says. “Distance.”
A long drive home is one kind of distance. But there’s that other kind, too. I’m able to run L5R because I’ve got distance. Trekhead can’t even LOOK at a MAGE book. He’s got no distance.
The Wife and I are getting a divorce. Its a good thing. Our lives are going in different directions. We want to be friends, we try to get together and be friends, but it isn’t working out. I’ve got no distance. Every time we get together, it just screws up and everybody ends up hurt.
I get up in the morning, a few dreams in my pocket, and I start writing my journal. Distance makes it easier. There was a time when I swore I would NEVER play L5R again. That time is over. After a few years, I’ve had enough distance.
I’ve been able to call up a few of those old game industry friends. Been able to re-establish a contact with some. Not all of them, but a few.
I ran into one of them in a book store. We didn’t expect to see each other, kind of bumbled through pleasantries. Maybe if we were better prepared. Maybe. But we were caught off guard, didn’t know how to handle things. It was obvious we were trying, but unsure how to do this thing. This “Oh. Hi. We used to be really close. Now… what?”
Time isn’t what heals all wounds. You need some space, too.