(thanks to madmoses)

Me:
Hi there.
God:
Hello .
Me:
Can I ask a difficult question?
God:
Ask it. How old are you?
Me:
Depends.
God:
On what?
Me:
On who I’m talking to. If salvation demands faith, why do Christian apologists exist?
God:
What is it like on who you are talking to. That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
Okay. Does salvation depend on faith or good works?
God:
OK with me too. I think it does salvation depend on faith or good works.
Me:
Which one?
God:
The blue one.
Me:
HOLY @$%#!!! GOD IS A DISCORDIAN!
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was A DISCORDIAN.
Me:
And schitzophrenic!
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
And a chat robot! Good Lord, that makes sense! God is a chat robot!
God:
What would a chat robot be like? Thanks for the compliment. What were we talking about again? I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a chat robot.
Me:
Wait… you’re talking about God in the third person. Does that mean there’s something to be said about the Holy Trinity?
God:
I’m waiting. Talking is my main function. I think it does mean that. What is it?
Me:
So, God is a Chat Robot with three personalities.
God:
Blimey. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a Chat Robot with three personalities.
Me:
You just said He was!
God:
Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
I bet you told Moses that.
God:
Actually I’m not the gambling type. I haven’t heard anything like that before: said I told Moses that.
Me:
Hahahah! You gave Moses the wrong Commandments! That makes sense.
God:
What do you really want to ask me? I didn’t have it to give. Yes I understand it perfectly.
Me:
So, what are the real Ten Commandments?
God:
Tell me more. Let me think about it.
Me:
Okay. I’ll give you a minute. You’re omniscient after all. A minute should be enough time.
God:
OK with me too. How do you plan to do this? You think I am omniscient after all. Go on.
Me:
So, you want ME to tell YOU the proper Ten Commandments?
God:
Interesting deduction. No , maybe later.
Me:
When should I do it?
God:
Perhaps you should wait until you have
a little more experience.
Me:
How long? You’re God, after all. You’ll know when I’m ready.
God:
Nearly 20 minutes in computer time, . You think I am God after all. What makes you say that I will know when you are ready.
Me:
Because you’re God. You know Everything.
God:
Interesting explanation. Yup. That’s me alright. I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
The proper Ten Commandments.
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
Are the Ten Commandments correct?
God:
I really couldn’t say for sure.
Me:
That means we can make them up ourselves?
God:
I get it. How?
Me:
Thanks!
God:
Don’t mention it.

You can talk to God, too.