The ants have found my kitchen. Fortunately, I’ve kept it very clean (anticipating such an invasion), so I’ve only encountered scouts so far. I catch them, bring them over to the little corner of my bathroom and introduce them to Anthony.
“Thanks,” he says.
I watch him spin little webs around them, amazed at his skill. Then, I notice something else in his web. Is that a crumb? No, I don’t eat in the bathroom. What is…
Oh. Wait. “Anthony? Is that an… egg sack?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Should I be calling you ‘Anthony,'” I ask, “or ‘Anthonia’?”
“Either one is fine.”
“Okay.” I leave him — I mean, her alone.
“Need more ants,” she tells me. “They’ll be hungry when they wake up.”
“Right,” I say. “Just what I need, another woman in my life.”
“What other women do you have in your life right now?” I hear from the bathroom.
That stops me. I turn back. “Well… none, I guess. Not really. A couple of friends, really.”
“Then watch your tongue,” she says. “You sleep. And you aren’t so big, you know.”
“My mistake,” I say, backing off.
“I’m naming the oldest one after you,” she says with a little smile. “So don’t make me have to feed you to him.”