Okay. Pagan folks. Let’s get this right.
I’m doing a Google search for “Earth Goddess Names” and I come up with a bunch of websites who claim — among other things — that Aphrodite, Athena, and Isis are all Earth Goddesses.
And that Aphrodite is the only Greek Goddess “without parents.”
And this little tidbit:
“I acknowledge that is one Goddess in essence, Creatrix of all existences; Her forms are infinite, She manifests Herself in our love, and we are all Her lovers.”
Okay, first things first…
JUST BECAUSE IT’S A GODDESS DOESN’T MEAN SHE’S THE FRIGGIN GODDESS OF THE FRIGGIN’ EARTH!!!
AND IF APHRODITE IS THE ONLY GREEK GODDESS “WITHOUT PARENTS” EXPLAIN TO ME HOW ATHENA JUMPED OUT OF ZEUS’ FRIGGIN HEAD!!! THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT OF ATHENA!!! THAT SHE HAD NO FATHER AND NO MOTHER AND GAVE BIRTH TO HER FRIGGIN’ SELF!!!
And, finally, how about
I acknowledge that THERE is one Goddess in essence…” YOU ILLITERATE ASSWIPES!!!
I remember one of my first days at the Faire. A bunch of people were standing around, talking about the inconsistencies and hypocrisies of the Christian faith.
“God,” one of them said, “I’m glad I’m a pagan.” Then, he dropped his cigarette on the earth and put it out with his foot, leaving it there.
Here’s the news. Just because you’re a “pagan” doesn’t make you holy. No more than the folks who think they’re holy just because Jesus says they’re saved.
You gotta fight for salvation. Every frickin’ moment of every frickin’ day. Don’t matter if you’re a pagan, wiccan, christian, buddhist, muslim, jew, or discordian. You gotta fight for it.
Odin don’t let no slouches in. You gotta die with courage and conviction. Otherwise, you get Hel. And her caress… I don’t even wanna think about it.
So, to all my “pagan” friends (and, by the way, “pagan” means “unbeliever” or “atheist.” Not “someone who believes in foreign gods.” So, in my mind, people walking around calling themselves “pagans” are like black people walking around calling themselves “niggers”), here’s a message.
I love you. I truly do.
But please, for the love of Athena, know your Gods and Goddesses. Please. Don’t make me do what I just did to your face. We’ll both regret it.
And, for the record, I am an omnitheist. I worship all the Gods and Goddesses. Some more regularly than others, but all of them nonetheless. It’s this misunderstanding of their own confirmed faith that makes me mad. And the disrespect (with ignorance) they bring to their own altars.
Blessed be.