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My Gospel

I’m putting it in lordstrange‘s journal. It is better suited there.

And remember, this really did happen. Jesus really did knock on my door and we really did talk for hours. It’s a miracle because only a few minutes passed, although we talked for hours. It then took me about an hour to write it all down. But then, time went backward again.

A miracle! It must be true!

Read it and judge for yourself.

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That’s it. That’s it.

I’m writing a gospel.

THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO ME:
A Private Conversation with The Lord

And if people don’t believe me, fuck them.

People send TV evangelists billions of dollars because they claim to talk to God.

People travel thousands of miles a year to get healed by assholes who say they talk to God.

People voted for GW Bush because he claims he talks to God.

What’s wrong with me claiming I had a private conversation with Jesus?

I’m starting work right fucking now. I’ll update it as I go.

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Dear President Bush

(for amanofhats on his daughter’s birthday; lordstrange will have something for her soon.)

 Sir,

You finally did it. You finally put a stake through America’s heart.

You bullied the Congress into signing a law that made torture legal in the eyes of American courts. Unhappy with those “activist judges,” you brought into existence a law that allows you to interpret law. In other words, you made the entire Judicial Branch of our government obsolete.

I’m not sure if you remember this through the cocaine haze of your college days, Mr. President, but way back when, in those good old days, when the Founding Fathers first laid out the plans for this nation, they decided to divide the powers of government so no one branch would become too strong.

Of course, this means little to you. You’re on a Mission from God. God Himself talked to you and told you to do this, I’m sure.

Question is, which God was it?

Are you sure it was the God of the Bible, as represented by Jesus Christ, his avatar here on Earth? Let’s see what Jesus says about how we should treat our enemies, shall we? After all, Jesus was a man of peace. Not like those heathan Muslims who worship their false War God. No, Jesus spoke only of peace and love and forgiveness. Didn’t he?

Didn’t he?

I mean, didn’t Jesus come to cast out the old law and bring in the new? Let’s see… Matthew, Chapter 5…

Matthew 5:17
Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.


Ah. So, no. He actually likes the old laws. Hm. Well, at least Jesus is forgiving, right?

Matthew 10:14
And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet. Verily I say unto you, It shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrha in the day of judgment, than for that city.


Well, come on. Doesn’t Jesus have something to say about peace? I mean, isn’t Islam the religion of the sword?

Matthew 10:34
Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


Okay, well, maybe this Jesus guy isn’t so forgiving after all… I mean, didn’t he come to get rid of all those old laws? Like God’s command to kill disobedient children in Exodus? Jesus wouldn’t support a commandment like that, would he?

Matthew 15:4
For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.


Well, I mean come on, Jesus! Isn’t this a little contradictory? Didn’t you say “forgive everyone” up on the Mount? Why are you contradicting yourself? It’s almost as if you’re vague on purpose, just to confuse people.

Mark 4:11
And he said unto them, Unto you it is given to know the mystery of the kingdom of God: but unto them that are without, all these things are done in parables: That seeing they may see, and not perceive; and hearing they may hear, and not understand; lest at any time they should be converted, and their sins should be forgiven them.


So you are being cryptic on purpose!

Oh, now I see.

Well, maybe it all makes sense now! George W. Bush is following Jesus’ example:

He’s judgmental,
He’s unforgiving,
And he’s contradicting himself and making vague claims!

It all makes sense!
All Hail Discordia!

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Walking in Hiram’s Footsteps, Part 1

lordstrange writes about my experience last night.

I am still shaken. Not ready to finish the second half. I will later. But for now, Part 1.

(I have made this entry “friends only,” so if you aren’t Lord Strange’s friend, you won’t be able to see it. Just ask him. He’ll probably add you.)

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Raised

I am very tired and a little drunk. Forgive me.

At the opening of each Lodge, the Book of Law is also opened. Usually to a random page.

When I was initiated as an apprentice, the book was opened to the very first page of Job. A trial. An ordeal. A long road up. The alchemist’s path.

When I was passed to the degree of Fellowcraft, the book was opened to Daniel. Prophet of the Apocolypse.

When I was raised to Master Mason, the book was opened to the 23rd chapter of the Book of Jeremiah. My middle name is Jerome. The prophet who lived at the time of the destruction of King Solomon’s Temple.

Twenty-three. All Hail Discordia.

will have more symbolic correspondances tomorrow. Right now, I am exhausted, can’t type straight and giddy as a school girl.

I’m a Master Mason. I was murdered and my brothers brought me back from the dead.

Thank you Sheldon, Davey, and Chris. We are the future of Masonry. Discordia help us all.

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In 8 Hours…

… I will be raised to the degree of Master Mason.

Also, after a long talk, I stumbled on this little song on an old mix CD. It sang to me.

What makes me think I could start clean slated?
The hardest to learn was the least complicated.