I’m twenty-five years old.
I killed a man while working on the Union Pacific Railroad.
I married the same woman twice.
I’ve written and published a romance novel under the pseudonym “Joanne Wylde.”
Every woman I’ve seriously dated was already dating someone I knew when I met them.
One of my lovers and I shared the same name.
I have a large black book of hand-written erotic faerie tales hidden under my bed.
I’ve been a professional shanty man on a historical ship.
I’ve traveled across the Continental United States telling stories for my supper.
When my boss bet me $100 I couldn’t get laid at Gen-Con (with a girl he’d sleep with), he was $100 short on Sunday.
I’ve never cheated on a lover.
When my cat Roland died (from feline leukemia), I cried so hard, the vet felt so bad, she sent flowers.
I envy my brother’s beard.
I’ve been dead three times. Twice in an ambulance and once on the internet.
The best sex I ever had was by the side of a lake in the middle of a thunderstorm.
Before I came in to interview at Neopets, they asked me to adopt a pet and play the site. I named my Mynci “Llugh”… and found out at the interview that my boss is Welsh.
I’m currently enjoying my new-found celibacy.
I’m not a dog person or a cat person. I’m slightly allergic to both, and I love them dearly.
It is not for abstract reasons that I am offended that most state laws are written in such a way that the law does not recognize that it is possible for a man to be raped by a woman.
Every character I play (in TT, LARP, etc.) is a part of my own personality, an expression of a philosophy I want to explore. Yes, that includes Mr. Finger.
In every aspect of my life, I’m almost impossible to please.
I’m my own worst critic.
If I died in five minutes, my only regret is that I never got a chance to learn Go.
I believe Zorba when he says that the only sin God can’t forgive is breaking a woman’s heart.
I believe that men and women can be friends, even if the sex thing comes up.
I’ve trained with a bow, a katana, a saber, a rapier, a foil, and a firearm.
I have a crush on you.
The game designer I admire the most is Jess Heinig.
I was the Junior Bronze Medal Judo Champion of Ames, Iowa.
I’ve been in two fights in my life, one in GA and one in MN, with the intention of hurting the guy so bad that
I’d never have to fight again. It worked both times.
The one and only ghost story I tell is the one and only ghost story I tell because it’s true.
I love skirts.
I love white tank tops more.
I tried to get into the Marines (as my father did before me), but they wouldn’t take me because I was too smart.
My preadolescent libido was deeply scarred by Yvonne Craig, Julie Newmar, and Lynda Carter.
Bayushi Kachiko was not inspired by an ex-girlfriend. She was inspired by three ex-girlfriends.
For a year, I carried a leather bag around my neck that contained three dollar bills: the first dollar I earned telling stories, the first dollar I earned writing stories, and the first dollar I earned teaching other people to tell stories. Someone stole it.
When I told my Irish grandfather there was a monster under the bed, he gave me a baseball bad and told me, “Beat the shit out of him, then.”
I love kids but I’m terrified at the thought of being a father.
I eat a hotdog every Friday… with the bun. (A Discordian never does what he’s told.)
* * *
Or, all of the above could be true.
Or, none of it could be true.
Or, everything is true, even false things.
Except that bit about Jess. That’s damn true.