I’ve had a talk with my mom. A private talk. It went something like this.
The reason I got mad was because when she said “Catholics aren’t Christians,” she was talking about you. You were born and raised a Catholic. And this is your house. That means she thinks you’re going to Hell. Because Catholics aren’t the correct kind of Christian, so they go to Hell.
And that’s you.
And she said, “John, you need to take a religious studies course.” Then, I asked her, “What about Lutherans?” And she said, “What’s a Lutheran?”
She was talking about dad. (My father is a Lutheran. My mother, she was orange, and my father, he was green.) She didn’t even know what the Protestant Reformation is.
So, my mom said, “I know she isn’t smart. But she’s Jason’s friend, and we’ll be nice to her because it’s Christmas.”
Yeah, my mom. She’s going to Hell. Just like me.