This from my buddy memento_mori who found it on James Randi’s site…
I’m sure any good Christian believes prayer should be balanced by action.
So here, in support of the Prayer Team’s admirable goals, is a proposed
Constitutional Amendment codifying behavior and based entirely on Holy
Bible principles:
1. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man
and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5.) Marriage shall not
impede a man’s right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives.
(II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)
2. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If
the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed.(Deut 22:13-21) Marriage
of a Christian and a pagan shall be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra
9:12; Neh 10:30)
3. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the
constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be
construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)
4. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the
widow. If he refuses to marry his brother’s widow or deliberately does not
give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise
punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen. 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)
5. The law must preserve the duty of each citizen to burn an ox as a
sacrifice, regardless of whether the odor pleases the neighbors — as it
does God — or not. (Lev 18:22)
6. Each citizen shall have the right to sell his daughter(s) into slavery,
setting his own price. (Exodus 21:7)
7. All citizens may own slaves, like in the good old days, both male and
female, so long as they’re foreigners. (Lev 25:44)
8. Any citizen who finds his neighbor working on Sunday must kill him.
(Exodus 35:2)
9. Eating shellfish of any sort must be deemed “an abomination,” with
penalties set by local law enforcement. (Lev 11:10)
10. Any citizen with poor eyesight and who nevertheless goes to church,
shall be guilty of an abomination. (Lev 21:20)
11. Trimming the hair around the temples should be a capital crime. (Lev
19:27)
12. Since touching the skin of a dead pig makes one “unclean,” no one can
wear gloves made of pigskin. (Lev 11:6-8)
13. Anyone who plants two different crops in a field, who wears garments
made of two different fabrics, or who curses or blasphemes, must be stoned
to death. (Lev 19:19, 20:14)
