Author: john wick

A Moment of Clarity

After being awake for most of the night with back spasms, I’m falling asleep at my desk. And I have 90 more flavor bits to write before I leave today.

Where’s Duffman when I need him?

Last night, I was moving boxes. Then, my back went out.

I don’t know how to explain it. If you’ve never experienced it before, there are really no words to describe the pain. Muscles all down my spine twitching uncontrollably, the tips of my fingers and toes numb, the sharp ache that accompanies every movement. All I could do was crawl along the floor, push myself up the refrigerator with my feet against the counter (took ten minutes to get to a standing position), grab the ice from the freezer (thank god I hadn’t turned off the power just yet) and fall back to the floor, breaking ice cubes out of their plastic homes (for some reason, that hurt the most), dumping them on my back.

No, not heat. That’s not my problem. It’s techincal and not worth going into right now.

I woke up on the kitchen floor, my back all but frozen, lying in a puddle of cool water. I’m better now. But, I get a twinge every once in a while.

Top that off with the fact that I came into the office this morning and Seattle company rejected about half the flavor bits I wrote with my boss and that makes me a very, very grumpy Wick.

… because anything I say will probably get me in trouble…
(Including what I just said.)

	

	

	

		
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How compatible with me are YOU?

Because change is a good thing. And I just took the first step toward it.

It’s been six months. A long time. Almost seven. In November, it’ll be a year.

I’ve been good so far. I’ve only cried in front of one person, and that was after I fucked up real bad and I couldn’t help it. Otherwise, I’ve been the confident, stoic, fun-loving single guy I’m supposed to be. Nobody’s seen the person hiding inside, afraid to death of dating, of getting close to anybody ever again, of ever having my heart broken one more time. They say a heart is really made of glass, and every time it breaks, there’s less pieces to put it back together.

I’ve maintained the illusion. I’m okay. Nothing’s wrong. I’m a little sad, but otherwise, I’m okay.
But the real me is screaming. Help me. Please. I need someone. Someone to talk to. Someone who won’t judge my tears. Someone who will just listen. And hold me tight. And tell me it’s okay. It’s okay to feel the way I do. It’s okay to cry like a child, to scream, to need.

“It’s okay,” is what I need to hear, my eyes all red and ragged. “It’s okay.”

And out of the blue, today, it arrived in the mail. A little brown paper package from my sister, all the way up in Seattle. I open it up, and there’s a CD with a little note. And the note says exactly what I need to hear.

“It’s okay,” she says.
“Go ahead,” she takes me into her arms.
“It’s okay.” And she holds me, all the way from Seattle.

I’m crying like a baby, Julie. My eyes red and ragged. My face all wet and flushed. For the first time in six months. The first song did it. Kicked me all over the room. It feels so good, like you’re right here, and we’re watching movies like we used to, and we’re talking about nothing at all, just being together because it’s good to be with someone, and we’ve ditched all that high school angst and drama, and we’re just holding on, like people who love each other are supposed to do.

And right now, I miss you and I love you more than I ever have in my whole life. And I want the whole world to know it.

I love you I love you I love you.

(And “Fuck you.”) 🙂

You are Odysseus! You’re probably the most famous
Greek mythological hero ever. You’re quite
smart, and know when to leave something alone.
You’ve always got a very wily way around a
sticky situation, but really you just want to
get home to your family. Check out Homer’s poem
about you, Tennyson’s shorter poem about you,
and James Joyce’s modernization of your
character.

Which Greek Mythological Hero Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

It’s pretty easy to get the result you want. I didn’t even try. 😉

(Although, I have to admit, I was torn between my boy here and The First Sailor.)

Good morning, I’m John, and you… you work for a living.

Last night, I ran a d20 game. Me. A DM. Everyone playing nobles. Court, politics, intrigue, romance.

It went really well, again, because I have great players.

May 23, 2003. Lots of fives in there. Started the day off right at Wienerschitzel. Said a special thank you to Eris, and went in to work.

Once again, the Vampire TT was a blast. End of Chapter 1. The Ventrue and Brujah are in position to run the city, the Tremere have a new (and very unique) chantry, Jo and John got away, the True Lovers managed to keep their love (and themselves) intact, and Marcus got to sing.

Oh, and the House is still standing.

I’ve got great players. Thanks for making my job so much fun.