Category: Livejournal

“Share yourself with someone today”… in bed.

Any volunteers?

We went to see Chuck Palahniuk last night.

He signed Fight Club and his new book for me. He wrote “I am John’s Book” inside. After meeting him for only a moment, I was suddenly reminded of Matt Forbeck. The kind of guy who really is genuinely kind… and has just enough Loki blood in his veins.

He read a story called “Guts.” He requested we all turn off our tape recorders and video recorders. “Let this story exist only in this moment.” I was reminded of when I told John Zinser why I didn’t want the L5R storyline to be written down anywhere. “It exists in the minds of the players,” I said. “And there’s no story I can write that’s more powerful than that.” Chuck understands that.

He read the story. I won’t tell you a thing about it, other than it was one of the most potent, most powerful storytellng experience I’ve ever seen. The story was so intense, Chuck had to hold on to the microphone with both hands. He clenched the microphone so hard, his knuckles were white. I remember Darrell telling me he didn’t know how long Chuck read that story. We were mesmerized. It was appaling, captivating, disturbing… It did what good fiction does: it walks up to the reader, slams a fist in your gut, and says, “Deal with this!” It’s the reason I can’t read most fantasy crap anymore. It doesn’t challenge me. Not like this thing did. I had to hold on to the seat not to get up and leave… but I couldn’t leave. The audience was laughing and cringing in equal time.

In the middle of the story, I heard a voice behind me quietly shouting. “Oh my God!” she said. We all turned. Someone passed out. I shit you not. Passed right the fuck out. A combination of three hundred people in a small, hot room and the intensity of the subject matter made this poor guy fall flat on his face. I couldn’t believe it. We all looked at Chuck, this sudden realization… his story had done what he wanted. But… what… he’s… smiling?

“This happens all the time,” he said. “Every time I read this thing, someone passes out.”

The audience didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to do. Here’s this poor guy in the back of the room, unconscious. The story was so powerful, it just hit him square in the jaw, and just like some action movie cliche, he fell right flat to the floor.

The poor guy was taken out of the room, Chuck gave a quick look like, “Sorry!” and without missing a beat, went right on to finish the story.

It’s called “Guts.” He says it will be in a collection of short fiction later next year. I don’t know if it will have the same emotional impact… but it was a moment. A moment I’ll carry with me for a long time. I’d forgotten how powerful words are. I remember now. The Day of Thunder… the Last Kachiko Story… I’d forgotten. I’ll remember now.

At the end, we stood in line again to have Chuck sign ‘s books. And we got a picture of the Chuckster. We handed off a copy of the magazine we’d all worked on, and he pimped it for us. Chuckie P, captain of the fuck corporate America culture held up our magazine and let us take our picture with him.

Then, Darrell and I wolfpac’d him. On the way home, Darrell said, “Ain’t no way that ain’t never gonna be fresh.” I gotta agree.

I just hope Chuck opens up that magazine cover. There’s more than a few surprises waiting for him… we left our mark. Like sticking things behind a wall… we left something for Chuckie P. They might give him a giggle. It’s a small thank you for all the laughter and cringes he’s given us.

You rule, Chuck.
And you keep kicking my ass… reminding me that I’m never as good as I think I am.
I’m tryin’ to keep up. And I’ll do what you told me when you and I were alone for just ten seconds.
Promise.

http://www.pizortal.com/stuff/neospacemonkies.jpg

He’s in town tonight. I’ll be driving out to Beverly Hills to check him out, get him to sign my book, and tell him to hit me as hard as he can. 😀

http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail84.html
He’s my hero.

http://www.wewantyoursoul.com/index.php

Your soul is worth £17549. For your peace of mind, 42% of people have a purer soul than you.

Well, I know who’s on the buying end, don’t I? 🙂

Good morning, I’m John, and you’re not. Ain’t it a shame.

Friday
Time by myself. I got a lot of editing done on the novel, had a fun talk with the -ex, and… well, that was it. I had a chance to go to a game, but after hearing what happened, I’m glad I didn’t. It got my mind thinking, which eventually led to a moment with the Wake-Up Stick…

Saturday
Was supposed to head out to the San Diego Sabbat game (www.sincitybynight.com). I was very excited about it. Heading down with a bunch of friends. Unfortunately, schedules conflicted and we weren’t able to make it down in time to make the game. Instead, I ran the TT Vampire game. I was itching to play Mr. Finger, and he pulled off a nasty trick, so I was happy.

Sunday
Spent the day at 3rd Street Prominade with visiting friends from Santa Barbara. We ate brunch at Hooters and got charged for the scenery. A lot. A whole fucking lot. As much as I like the wings, ain’t going back there again. The Temple of Testosterone can keep it’s scenery. I didn’t enjoy it all that much anyway. Lots of half-drunk, mostly drunk, entirely drunk assholes at a peep show was what it felt like. Yuch. I needed to take a shower when we came home. Wings were good, though.

And then the Wake-Up Stick… (names have been changed to protect the inept)

ME: It’s too bad we couldn’t play in the LA Sabbat game.
CHERYL: You couldn’t play Mr. Finger.
ME: But there’s nothing really strange or different about him. I mean, he’s your typical Tzimisce…
CHERYL: No, he’s not. He’s the coolest Tzimisce ever, just like Marcus is the coolest Nos ever and they wouldn’t let you play him.
ME: Yeah… I mean, that’s why the MC system sucks so much. It’s telling me, “You’re not a good enough player to play Marcus or Mr. Finger, but (insert high MC butthead with roleplaying skills of wet cardboard here) sure is.”

WHAM!!!

That was it. That’s what kicked my ass. I’d been climbing to the top of the mountain for a while, and I finally reached the summit.

The whole MC thing… I never understood it until then. But, there it was. Telling me, “You aren’t a good enough player, but this guy over here, who’s been in the club for five years, the guy who cheats, who’s a wanker, who whines, who practices rampant nepitism… he’s a good enough player to play the character you want to play.”

The stick hit me so hard, I stumbled. Tony and James laughed when Cheryl told them what I said, because I was laughing so hard.

That night, the Vampire TT game was on again. An hour and a half debating what to do with a sticky situation, watching players argue from their characters’ points of view, rather than their own. Sometimes to their own detriment. It was a blast.

Oh — and one other thing. Cheryl made these amazing things for the L5R players. Maybe I’ll get a picture to show you. Fucking amazing.

I have good friends.

You are Slaanesh, the Prince of Excess! You love
thrills, you live for the high. Especially when
it comes to sex. I may hate you, but I play
with you anyway.

Which Warhammer 40k Chaos God are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I was talking to a friend… and the lines of this song occured to me. I’ve always liked them, always found them… no, this song isn’t for anybody in particular. I’m just… just… in a place. A quiet, calm place. Well, here it is.

I am closer to believing
Than I ever was before
On the crest of this elation
Must I crash upon the shore
And with the driftwood of acquaintance
Light the fire to love once more
I am wind blown… I am times.

To be closer to believing
To be just a breath away
On the death of inspiration
I would buy back yesterday
But there`s no crueller illusion
There`s no sharper coin to pay
As I reach out… It slips away

From the opium of custom
to the ledges of extremes
Don`t believe it till you`ve held it
Life is seldom what it seems
But lay your heart upon the table
And in the shuffling of dreams
Remember who on earth you are

I need me
You need you
We want us

But of course you know I love you
Or what else am I here for
Only you not face to face
But side by side for evermore
And I need to be here with you
For without you what am I
Just another fool out searching
For some heaven in the sky
Take me closer to believing
Take me forward lead me on
Through collision and confusion
While there`s life beneath the sun
You are the reason I continue
So near for so long
So close yet so far away

I need me
You need you
We want us to live forever
So don`t let the curtain fall
Measure after measure
Of writing on the wall
That burns so brightly
It blinds us all

I need me
You need you
We want us to be together
On Sundays in the rain
Closer than forever
Against or with the grain
To ride the storms of love again

So be closer to believing
Though your world is torn apart
For a moment changes all things
And to end is but to start
And if your journey`s unrewarded
May your God lift up your heart
You are windblown
But you are mine

(Lake/Sinfield)

Thanks .

Bare Your Bum at Bush!

In polytheistic religious tales, we often see “the enemy” in a particular light. In the Illiad, the Trojans are portrayed with honor, dignity, and intelligence. The fall of Hector is a tragedy, and the when the Greeks do pillage Troy, they are punished for their hubris (Odysseus in particular). This is because polytheistic traditions understand the whole “multiple viewpoint” theory of reality. Nobody is right, everybody’s got their own perspective, and your God of Thunder is actually my god of thunder with a different name. Polytheistic tradtions tend to absorb other cultures rather than destroy them.

In monotheistic traditions, “the enemy” is not painted so sympathetically. All those who stand against the Chosen People are brutes, dullards, and simpletons who just don’t get that I AM is the One True God… and must be destroyed for their ignorance. They can’t be shown the truth – they just ignore it, even when it hits them in the face. The only solution is murder.

Even when Jesus comes along, with his preaching of forgiveness, pacifism, and unconditional love… all those who don’t agree that he’s Da Boss will be sent down to EVERLASTING, EVERBURNING, EVERSUFFERING PUNISHMENT FOR THEIR LACK OF FAITH!!!

That’s your Friday thought. Now, go have a hotdog.