Vampire TT Tonight…

“Black Mariah” is English criminal slang for the paddywagon. “Black Mariah” was a woman living in England who ran a boarding house. She snitched on criminals for a bribe from the police. Naturally, as criminals are wont to do, they associated getting nicked with death, and “Black Mariah” also became slang for that long, black Cadillac we all get to ride in one day.

Some more slang to help you out:

“blind tiger” is a speak-easy
“old blind jim” is an old, poor drunk who can’t afford even cheap booze
“Lindabrides” is a reference to a heroine in The Mirror of Knighthood, whose name at one time was a synonym for a kept mistress
The rest, you figure out for yourself…

Big Black Mariah

Well cutting through the cane break, rattling the sill
Thunder that the rain makes when the shadow tops the hill
Big light on the back street, hill to ever more
Packing down the ladder with the hammer to the floor
Here come the Big Black Mariah, here come the Big Black Mariah
Here come the Big Black Mariah, I seen the big black Ford

Well he’s all boxed up on a red belle dame
Hunted Black Johnny with a blind man’s cane
A yellow bullet with a rag out in the wind
An old blind tiger, got an old bell Jim
Here come the Big Black Mariah, here come the Big Black Mariah
Here come the Big Black Mariah, here come the big black Ford

Sent to the skies on a Benny Jag Blue
Off to bed without his supper like a Linda brides do
He got to do the story with the old widow Jones
Got a wooden coat, this boy is never coming home
Here come the Big Black Mariah, here come the Big Black Mariah
Here come the Big Black Mariah, I seen that big black Ford
Cut through the canebrake, oh yeah

Well he’s all boxed up on a red belle dame
Flat Blue Johnny with a blind man’s cane
A hundred yellow bullets shook a rag out in the wind
An old blind tiger, on a bell you win
Here come the Big Black Mariah, here come the Big Black Mariah
Here come the Big Black Mariah, here come the big black Ford

(T. Waits)

Someone pretending to be my sister

Okay. Let’s get this straight.

Someone pretending to be my sister on my Live Journal, posting under her name.

I have your ISBN. That’s a start. A little research will get me more. Then, I subscribe you to 200 magazines.

Don’t do it again.

Since everybody else is doing it…

Okay, so here’s the books from the BBC’s “Best 100” that I’ve read.

1. 1984 – George Orwell
2. The Alchemist – Paul Coelho
3. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll
4. Animal Farm – George Orwell
5. Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy
6. Black Beauty – Anna Sewell
7. Bleak House – Charles Dickens
8. Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
9. Catch 22 – Joseph L Heller
10. The Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger
11. Charlie & Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl
12. A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens
13. The Clan of the Cave Bear – Jean M Auel
14. The Colour of Magic – Terry Pratchett
15. The Count of Monte Cristo – Alexander Dumas
16. Crime and Punishment – Fyoder Dostoyevsky
17. David Copperfield – Charles Dickens
18. Dune – Frank Herbert
19. Emma – Jane Austen
20. Far From the Madding Crowd – Thomas Hardy
21. The God of Small Things – Arundhati Roy
22. The Godfather – Mario Puzo
23. Gone with the Wind – Margaret Mitchell
24. Good Omens – Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman
25. Gormenghast – Mervyn Peak
26. The Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck
27. Great Expectations – Charles Dickens
28. The Great Gatsby – F Scott Fitzgerald
29. His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman
30. Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams
31. The Hobbit – JRR Tolkien
32. Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte
33. The Lion, the witch and the wardrobe – CS Lewis
34. Little Women – Louisa May Alcott
35. Lord of the Flies – William Golding
36. The Lord of the Rings – JRR Tolkien
37. Magician – Raymond E Feist
38. Matilda – Roald Dahl
39. Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden
40. Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie
41. Mort – Terry Pratchett
42. Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck
43. On the Road – Jack Kerouac
44. One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
45. Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
46. The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett
47. The Stand – Stephen King
48. A Tale of Two Cities – Charles Dickens
49. Tess of the D’Ubervilles – Thomas Hardy
50. To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee
51. Treasure Island – Robert Louis Stevenson
52. The Twits – Roald Dahl
53. Ulysses – James Joyce
54. War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy
55. Watership Down – Richard Adams
56. The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame
57. Winnie the Pooh – AA Milne
58. The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins
59. Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte

Fifty-nine out of 100.
Then again, some of my favorites aren’t on the list, and more than a few of them I wouldn’t consider “best” by any degree.
Oh well. That’s the point of a list like this. Make people disagree and talk. So…

Lord of the Rings doesn’t belong on that list. Just because everybody’s read it and everybody likes it doesn’t make it “the best.”

Otherwise… well, Towering Inferno did win the Oscar for Best Film, didn’t it? So did Titanic, and Gladiator, and…

(Getting the asbestos suit on…)

I wish I had a video camera…

Today, I taught five newbies how to make D&D 3rd Edition characters. All of them had played D&D before, but not 3rd edition. It was fun to watch for one reason and one reason alone. I thought of all those people who tell me D&D is THE game to introduce new players to roleplaying games.

I had five players — all of which had played roleplaying games, even D&D in its various editions — and it was THE most confusing, convoluted, and… well, it was hard. It was also very funny.

So, I picked “Javelin…”

Lady Jaye: Covert Operations
You’re Lady Jaye, the premier covert operations
agent of GI Joe! You’re definitely not just a
pretty face, you can be any pretty face you
want with your expertise in acting, dialects,
linguistics and foreign customs. And you’re a
really good shot with a javelin, too. It’s a
wonder how you and Flint got together…

It seems there’s a lot of weight on the “Weapon of Choice” question.
I don’t mind so much. She was always my favorite. That sultry, whiskey-soaked southern drawl just made my adolescent hormones go nuts…

All done

I’ve unsubscribed from the lists, I’ve removed my app, I’ve written my resignation as Assistant ST, and I’ll be allowing my membership to lapse when the time comes.

Wish I could say it’s been fun.

I’ll miss a couple of people.

I missed the Nature Boy

Last night, RAW was in Greenville, SC. Horsemen territory. Flair territory. Apparently, he tore the house down in what may be his last match ever.

If anybody taped RAW last night, please let me know.

Weekend Update

Good evening, I’m John, and you’re not.

On Friday, at the drop of a hat, ran 7th Sea. I had a blast. Forgot how much I love Fate Magic. (The thought of d20 Sorte Strega throwing fireballs and lightning bolts makes my stomach churn.) always tells me what a great GM I am. Well, sir, it takes one to know one. I can’t wait to play again.

On Saturday, ran City of the Spider Queen. I love my friends. I love gaming with my friends. But, I swear to Bashthraka, D&D makes people dumb. DUMB. I feel my intelligence drain away when I play it. It’s because the game system offers you no option other than kill-kill-kill. It forbids you to think outside the box. What other RPG rules do the players consider “canon?” Isn’t every other RPG designed with the thought, “The players are gonna screw around with the rules?” Yes. Does D&D create that mentality? No. A strange, mutant game.

On Sunday, I tried moving boxes. The 405 thwarted me. Took me 3 hours to get to and from the new apartment. With me carrying 5 boxes at a time, it wasn’t worth it. I’ll have to rent a truck on Saturday and move it all then.

Hm… So what you’re saying is… I’m a ho…

Your
Ultimate Roleplaying Purity Score
Category Your Score Average
Hacklust 43.4%
Will kill for XP
52.1%
Sensitive Roleplaying 7.59%
There is no player. There is only…. Zuul.
49.3%
GM Experience 8.7%
Worldbuilder, storyteller… Master.
66.2%
Systems Knowledge 31.5%
Owns the libraries of Alexandria and Carcosa
88.5%
Livin’ La Vida Dorka 9.2%
Gaming is my life
58.7%
You are 20.2% pure
Average Score: 65.7%