Because my neighbor is playing hip hop at the top volume — with his window open so he can share the Holy Music with everyone — and I’ve been forced to listen to this shit for an hour now, I’ve been inspired. Here’s how to write a hip hop song:
1. Steal someone else’s melody.
2. Stanza One: Write about how big your dick is.
3. Chorus: Thank God for everything you have.
4. Stanza Two: Write about how many guns you have.
5. Stanza Three: Write about how big your ho’s ass is.
6. Repeat Chorus: Thanking God for everything you have.
7. Stanza Four: Write about how many people you’ve killed.
8. Repeat Chorus: Thanking God for everything you have.
I just heard Too Pack (yes, I spelled his name wrong — it’s a dumb name) talking about his bitches and hos going down on his twelve inch.
No wonder the hip hop community reveres him. He’s a poet.