“Send me off to bed for evermore.”

One cold night in December, I had this on my iTunes, set for repeat. I do that a lot. Listened to it over and over and over again. I wasn’t exactly sure about the cryptic lyrics, but it seemed like the right thing to be listening to.

Just recently, I found http://audio.msk.ru/waits/main.html. Bootlegs. So, I listen to each one until I stumble across a live version of the song. In the intro, he says, “It’s a song about suicide.”

All those emotions rush back to my head, and I have to head out of the office for a second. All those crypic lyrics suddenly come clear. Takes me a minute to recover, but I’m all right.

It never got that bad — but it was bad. Funny how I found that song out of all of them. Over and over and over again. Four months ago, there was no chance. That song made me weep, and I couldn’t even tell you why. So, I made it mine. Memorized it. Learned to sing it. In a funny way, I guess I knew what it was about, and faced it, conquered it, and wore its skin. Now, I can sing it and smile while I do.

Anyway, you can never trust what Mr. Waits says about his songs. After all, he lies about his past.

Tango ‘Til They’re Sore

Well you play that tarantella all the hounds will start to roar
The boys all go to hell and then the Cubans hit the floor
They drive along the pipeline, they tango ’til they’re sore
They take apart their nightmares and they leave them by the door
Let me fall out of the window with confetti in my hair
Deal out Jacks or Better on a blanket by the stairs
I’ll tell you all my secrets, but I lie about my past
And send me off to bed for evermore

Make sure they play my theme song, I guess daisies will have to do
Just get me to New Orleans and paint shadows on the pews
Turn the spit on that pig and kick the drum and let me down
Put my clarinet beneath your bed ’til I get back in town
Let me fall out of the window with confetti in my hair
Deal out Jacks or Better on a blanket by the stairs
I’ll tell you all my secrets, but I lie about my past
So send me off to bed for evermore

Just make sure she’s all in calico and the color of a doll
Wave the flag on Cadillac day, and a skillet on the wall
Cut me a switch or hold your breath ’til the sun goes down
Write my name on the hood, send me off to another town, and just
And just let me fall out of the window with confetti in my hair
Deal out Jacks or Better on a blanket by the stairs
Tell you all my secrets, but I lie about my past
Will you send me off to bed for evermore

Fall out of the window with confetti in my hair
Deal out Jacks or Better on a blanket by the stairs
I’ll tell you all my secrets, but I lie about my past
Send me off to bed for evermore, send me off to bed for evermore