You know the rules. Open the cookie, read the fortune, and add “… in bed” at the end. Well, I decided to try it with some of my favorite philosophers, and here’s what I got…
“Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake… in bed.”
– Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956)
“Don’t be so humble – you are not that great… in bed.”
– Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat
“People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid… in bed.”
– Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)
“I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have… in bed.”
– Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
“We have art to save ourselves from the truth… in bed.”
“Even the best must be overcome… in bed.”
“Surpass thyself even in thy neighbour… in bed.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
“Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe… in bed.”
– H. G. Wells (1866-1946)
“Talent does what it can; genius does what it must… in bed.”
– Edward George Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873)
“Facts are the enemy of truth… in bed.”
– Don Quixote – “Man of La Mancha”
“Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down… in bed.”
– Jimmy Durante
“The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good… in bed.”
– Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)
“Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working… in bed.”
– Albert Giacometti (sculptor)
“Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away… in bed.”
– Antoine de Saint Exupery
“Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action… in bed.”
– Auric Goldfinger, in “Goldfinger” by Ian L. Fleming (1908-1964)
“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance… in bed.”
– Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
“Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens… in bed.”
– Jimi Hendrix
“A clever man commits no minor blunders… in bed.”
– Goethe (1749-1832)
“Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they’re yours… in bed.”
– Richard Bach
“Rhythm and harmony find their way into the inward places of the soul… in bed.”
– Socrates (via Plato)
“Hence it is necessary for a prince wishing to hold his own to know how to do wrong, and to make use of it or not according to necessity… in bed.”
– Machiavelli
And, finally…
“A witty saying proves nothing… in bed.”
– Voltaire (1694-1778)